Ready to Quit!

[Jay]

Obviously none of you have quit writing (otherwise you wouldn’t be here!), but has anyone ever become so frustrated that you came really close to quitting?  Right now, I feel like throwing my hands up and walking away.  I doubt I could do that, but part of me wants to at least say, “For the next year, I’m not putting myself through this anymore.  It’s time to see what else I’m interested in.”  As I’m sure you can tell, I got a rejection letter today (after getting one yesterday for another manuscript).  But truthfully, I think part of what’s bothering me is that I’ve felt on the verge of breaking in for the past…oh…SEVERAL YEARS!!!  And I hate getting my hopes up, but I guess I did with this last publisher.  I just did the calculations and 87% of my rejections from the past couple of years have been very encouraging personal rejection letters.  I think I would rather get an endless string of form rejections and say, “I have no idea what I’m doing,” but instead I’m left with the feeling of, “What are they looking for!?!?”  I…am…just…so…frustrated!

Cool.  I feel better now.  Thanks, guys.

- Jay

[Margherita]

Man, do I know what you're talking about!  (I'm actually waiting on two promising leads right now, but I've been there before and so have come to expect ... well, not much.)

Wait, I started this post with the intention of cheering you up!  Let me start again... 

Writing to get published is a persistence game.  All it takes is ONE "yes", and then you're on your way.  Besides, coming close is so much better than form-letter nothingness!  (I know after awhile it doesn't seem like it, but you know it's true!)

Now get back out there and get that "yes"! 

[Vijaya]

Glad you're feeling better, Jay.  Funny, how venting about the rejections can get it out of your system.  Seriously, though, just try quitting.  You'll be miserable ... so to be happy you must write, right?  Sometimes, when the rejections get me down, I quit submitting for a little while.  Works for me.
Vijaya

[Carole]

Dear Jay,

The writer in us tells us "NO!" we can never quit.  It dictates to us what we do and should do.  Maybe you're having a moment.  Keep us posted.  It's good to reach out . . . let other authors know what you're thinking and feeling, we're the only ones who do.  Our family and friends can only imagine -- the ones who are supportive and the ones who aren't.  

You must be doing something right or you wouldn't have received personal rejection letters.  Only you know for sure.  But personal rejection letters are a clue.  I don't know what I will do if I don't get published.  I only want a great agent and publisher and will hold out.  

The thought of having to write something different than I have is daunting.  I want what I've done to make it.  If it doesn't I don't know what I will do.  But I've yet to cross that bridge.  My thoughts are so-sincerely with you.

Carole :

[Pam]

Uh, oh, Jay...

You better brace yourself because whenever I or any of my friends have been on the verge of quitting, something amazing has happened to us. I was about to quit right before I got my first contract with Charlesbridge. One of my friends was about to quit before she got her first contract with a great publisher. Another friend was about to quit before they got their first contract with huge publisher. Another two were about to quit and are now both on the verge of signing with agents (one won a HUGE award!)

 DO NOT QUIT!!!

It took me five ms's to break into my publisher. I sent in my last ms and that was the one that hit. It's frustrating, but you ARE on the verge. And once you break in, it's easier from there (usually).

[Cassandra]

When I really feel like quitting, I try really hard to sell something, anything. I sell a poem or short article or story. That reminds me that I can write and I get the little high that I need. (I sound like a junkie.) But, it's enough to keep me going.

The other thing that I do is just what you did -I vent to those who understand. Sometimes the act of writing the words of frustration, is enough to let it go, at least for a little while.

Truth -my first reaction to your post -"Shoot, if Jay wants to quit, I'm in deep doo-doo." (Except I don't think I used the word doo-doo.) Bottom line, you can quit, but you probably won't. You have story in your blood and there's nothing you can do about it.

[jane]

Jay,

I've quit more times than I can count.  I tell myself I can't do it anymore.  What's the point?  Then I lay low for a while (one time was for a couple years!).  Work on other stuff, and general act like a normal person. 

Then slowly the itch starts.

Wouldn't that make a cute picture book?  I can't believe a top 6 publisher published that book.  What were they thinking?  Then I start writing -- just for me.  When I write in seclusion for a while, then I'm back in the "community".

I *wish* that my rambling had a wonderful and inspiring end.  It doesn't -yet.  I'm still here, still writing.  Still committed to a writing group.

Keep your chin up.  There's nothing wrong with taking a break if that's what you need.  The industry is not perfect.

Jane
 :cuccoan:

[KDBrazil]

Truth -my first reaction to your post -"Shoot, if Jay wants to quit, I'm in deep doo-doo." (Except I don't think I used the word doo-doo.)

That was my thought exactly! Jay wants to quit? What about all the rest of us lowly writer types?

I know how you feel, Jay. I keep getting close and feeling close and with each encouraging personal start feeling farther away. But just keep writing. I love it when I find joy in writng something. It's only later when I start subbing it that I get worked up about selling it.

We'll be waiting for your good news. (ANd that's meant to read as "we believe in you" and NOT as "okay hurry up, you should have made it before now."

kd

[Heidi]

Believe in yourself -- that's the most important thing (besides a day job, of course).

It will happen. Stick with it. Keep at it. And drink martinis every now and again.

I hope you feel better. We're all there with you!
Heidi

ps And read Steven King's "On Writing". Talk about rejection city for that guy!

[Inspired]

Try quitting and see what happens.  If you feel relieved, like you can't wait to start another day job or night job or something, then maybe writing should just be a hobby for you.

I have a gut feeling that you won't feel that way at all.  You'll feel a little happy that you've taken the pressure off for a day or two.  Then you'll start feeling guilty and uneasy.  You'll feel listless and like your life lacks purpose.  "Oh, what was I thinking?!" you'll wail to strangers on the street.  You'll let yourself go.  Relatives will drop hints about hygeine, but you won't care. 

Then, one day, in a severe depression, you'll start writing about your long lost love.  You'll realize that you want to be in love with writing again.  You'll miss the opportunity to wow editors and impress children.  You'll weep as you hold that long lost pen in your hand.

You'll be back.

[Anne Marie]

Oh, Jay, you can't quit.  What everybody else said is true.

I know how you feel.   I've come very close many times.  I usually just allow myself to take a break without guilt for a few  weeks and then I'm itching to get back to it.

Hugs,

Anne Marie

[Debby G]

Sorry!

This is such a hard business.

Don't give up though.

[Vinca]

Jay, I too know exactly how you feel.  I've felt close for the last couple years and still haven't broken that barrier.  I got two rejections the other day and for the first time wondered if I should quit trying to get published in order to preserve my mental health.  HA!  I know I can't quit writing (and won't give up on getting published, either) and something tells me you know that, too.  But I agree with taking breathers.  Regain your perspective as you look around at this crazy spinning ball we call home.  Refill your soul with images and inspiration, and then get back at it.

But most importantly, be kind to yourself.   

[tammi]

Cue the "Eye of the Tiger" music.

Hang in there, Jay.

[andracill]

Every time I finish a book and send it out, the waiting drives me crazy...and then there are definitely times when I want to quit as I receive those rejections...but then I'll get another idea and start a new book, which always seems to flow better, and I think 'this is the one.'  The cycle starts again, but I believe that for all of us who love to write, the day will come when we receive an offer rather than a rejection  :

[Miss P]

Jay you can't quit.  Remember, we're all happy gonna be's.  There's no statuette of limitation on how long you remain in that group.  But in order to be amongst that clique ya' gotta stay in the game.

Wannabe's are the ones who say, Dammit this is too hard.  Gonnabe's get kicked in the teeth, then submit again.  Get kicked in the gut...then submit again.  Get knocked over the head by a few books...and then....

Right, start submitting again.

Rejections suck!  But every step closer is so sweet.  I kind of like Pam's big break theory.  The closer to failure we feel is likely the closer to breaking through we actually are.  All this hard work ain't for nathin'.  We'll all await your good news...it's coming.

Paula

[mollymom103]

Hi Jay:   I have some thoughts here. First, I have quit writing several times from frustration. I think that the frustration you are feeling is a good sign. It makes you think. It makes you ask questions.

I write novels. I have personal letters from every major publishing house. This includes -- Hyperion, Random House, Scholastic, Little Brown, Candlewick, Viking, most of the Penguin imprints, Walker, FSG. OK, you get the idea. Might I note, no sales. Ouch.  I add on to this an inability to break into the magazine market. Painful. I've noted something at the many conferences I've attended (30+) something similar about the many overnight successes that would trot out and tell their story. 1. They already worked and were successful in some other part of the publishing industry (Music, TV, Greeting card writing, editor, something - this is the most common story.) 2. They were related to someone in the publishing industry (Aunt, Uncle, sister-in-law, something, semi-rare.) 3. Had a masters or doctorate in English, Art History or similar field and were current professors at a university (common). 4. Were well published in the magazine market (common). 5. Served on the board and ran writing organizations (common). 6. Got a Children's Writer MFA (semi-rare - I think because few people do this.). I also was given some good advice from Libba Bray. Get work, any work.  An illustrator friend backed this up with -- "if the checks don't bounce, it's all good". At this time I began to build a personal business plan. I went to a business seminar.  I found out what it takes to make a business. I take any work I can get.  I volunteered as an RA for SCBWI for three years (I've resigned now).  I've edited manuals for local businesses. I've taught classes. I've written writing articles. And little over a year ago, I started to write for the educational market -- I've written 18 work-for-hire books. No, I haven't received that "big" contract, yet. But I'm a working writer now and all the work has made me a more professional writer. It's all been good. So my thought is to look sideways and see if there is direction you can try that will help your business.  I'm not going to kid you; I've felt down in the dumps, but using that thinking to work "smarter" is the way to go.

Whoa, I've rambled on for a while here.  That question you asked, "What am I looking for?" is a good one. Think about it. Take a mental health day and write for the joy of writing. No rules, no pressure. Connect with story, character,and language. Read a good book. Seize the day, Jay.  

All best, Molly

[christrics]

I second what EVERYONE has said here --KEEP GOING, JAY!!

I totally felt like quiting just the other day, but then a personal rejection made me realize that I just may be good enough to make it! You should take out your personal's and read them again! You will find REASONS in them that you should continue on ...

I'm with 'ya!!


 : - Christine -

[Kristin]

I would only give up if you stopped caring about being published.  If the rejections bother you, then that's proof that it's still important to you.  A break may be nice, but don't give up.  :

I'm a newbie here and I don't recall if posting links are allowed, but this is a great pick-me-up site.  At least we're in good company, eh?:
http://www.charlottedillon.com/RejectionLetters.html

Here's another site with people's rejections:
http://www.rejectioncollection.com/

And did you know that Ernest Hemingway wallpapered his room with his rejection letters? That makes me wish I hadn't thrown all mine away.  :

[M Kennedy]

Jay, I'm coming out of lurkdom to share this with you (for the past few years I've visited here daily, but have never posted...I'm a bit shy.)  I started writing fourteen years ago.  I have seven unpublished middle grade manuscripts resting in peace under my bed and countless rejections stuffed in a worn out folder.  There were times when I thought I should give up, but a small glimmer of hope always tugged at me. And guess what?  A few months ago I received an offer from Greenwillow.  Thank goodness I didn't quit! So take a breather if you must, but don't give up on your dream. My journey was long and difficult, but I can say now it was all worth it.  And one day I bet you will be saying the same thing....

[Quzi]

Quit!
Ha, got your attention. But seriously, do quit-now, this minute. Not permanently, but try it for sixty days. Quitting is an interesting experience. I quit writing in 1988 and destroyed every single scrap of paper I'd written on. All of it. I started writing again in 1994-it took ten years from then to get a contract. BUT, I learned some things about myself, I grew, I got to be a better writer and I stopped trying to write something to sell. I started telling the stories I wanted told. Big difference. SO go quit for a while, chill, take time off. Think. Enjoy your life, you're not gonna get another one. And then just maybe, you'll come back and really do it next time. (And you'll find out if your real dream is to be a writer like Chris Crutcher or your dream is to be yourself)
S

[KatherineR]

Such interesting stories!  Congrats MK!

Oh dear, I'm one of Pam's friends and I'm still waiting, quitting, waiting, writing, quitting, submitting,waiting... :

I'm almost to the tenth year of this writing odyssey.  I suppose my anniversary date is in March.
It has been an interesting trip so far with a few alternate paths taken.  I comfort myself knowing that even if I don't get the gold standard US hardcover pb, my work has seen some publication and has been read and enjoyed by many adults and kids.

What I enjoy most about personal rejections is the thought that a group of adults may have sat around a table discussing my flipped out ideas!  Imagine, discussing the largest hairball in the west...?  That definitely has to be more fun than talking profit and loss.  So send something wacky and imaginative, it might make somebody's day (even if they don't buy it.)

[Jenny Moss]

Jay, I quit once for about fifteen minutes.  I just missed it soooo much  and had to go back to it.  Writing, creating is beyond wonderful.  It's the trying-to-get-published part of it that is so exhausting and sometimes depressing.  But you have to keep going with the rest of us!  We're all struggling with the same thing.

[Jay]

This is such a wonderful community.  And maybe it’s insensitive to say this, but I’ve really enjoyed reading about your hardships.  Your pain has made me feel so much better.  JUST KIDDING!  But it is nice to know that others have felt the same way at some point on their road to publication (assuming that the road I’m on isn’t a cul-de-sac).  As one of my blog-buddies recently said, “the road to publication isn’t easy.  It’s kind of like a churro...long and bumpy, but sweet.”

Thanks for being so inspiring, encouraging...and sweet.

 :

- Jay

[Buffy]

Like so many of you, I've thought about quitting many, many times over the past fifteen years of writing, submitting, and getting rejected.  What's helped me stay in the game is to find a different path.  For years I tried only trade publishers, and for years I got close-but-no-cigar rejections.  Then I started submitting to magazines and educational publishers--and getting acceptances.  Now I'm lucky enough to get frequent assignments, and know that what I write will be published.  I still dream of books with a trade publisher.  But making a (sort-of) living by writing for the educational market works for now.

[Dystar]

Oh, been there, done that. I was going to add to this thread, but it's already been said.

Here's a bit of advice from a writer friend: there are three necessities for writing: talent, luck and persistence. If you have two of the three, you'll be fine; but persistence is the most important.

[Barbara Eveleth]

Hi Jay!

When I first read this header I thought it said ready to quilt.  And I don't know many men who quilt so I was impressed.

Maybe you could take a mini break from writing and take up quilting.  But I don't think that you would find quilting to be as mentally challenging as trying to write great literature for kids.

Maybe just take a mini-break.  I think we all feel depleted sometimes.  Best, Barb

[richmond]

I feel ready to quit lots of times too.  I keep going partly because I think there is an element of luck to this, being in the right place at the right time, I mean. If you just keep going, keep subbing and meeting editors, etc., then some day you'll sub the right thing to the right editor just as she needs that very ms.  Of course, I'm assuming that after that it will be easier, but that's probably totally wrong!

[Dot]

Thanks for starting this thread, Jay! It's great to read stories like MK's and Quzi's.

Well . . . "great" isn't quite the word. But it's helpful.

[katep]

I quit.  I'll let you know how it works out.

 :