Genres > Middle Grade (MG) & Chapter Books

How much do you bug your MG-age kid?

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Jaina:
This is kind of research, I guess, but I decided to put it here, under MG because it deals with a book I'm working on . . .

Question for parents and those who've had them (so that's everyone, right?) . . .

Suppose you've got a 10-12 year old.  How much do you do the "parent" thing before they go out and ask about washed faces, clean hands, fingernails or so on?  Do you ever do this sort of spot-check on a kid this age?

Do you find yourself "bugging" your kid about combing/brushing his/her hair, changing into a clean shirt, brushing his/her teeth, etc.?  Not talking about when they're just going to go out and play with friends in the backyard, or a fancy celebration or church, but more like for a casual night out at a restaurant with family.

It seems I am forever asking my daughter, 12, to brush her hair.  I know my mother did the same to me around middle school age (The horror!  I've turned into my mom!).  I've got a protagonist who is an only child with parents who have been very involved in the past (but are suddenly being 'neglectful'), and suddenly I'm wondering how much of this kind of "bugging" is normal and how much would be seen as over-the-top.  This protagonist is particularly sheltered, so over-the-top is fine--I'm just trying to gauge where that line is.

For example, would you look at your 10-12 year old's plate and remark on how much or little of their dinner they've eaten?

andracill:
Well, my 10-year old is the 'responsible' one, so I rarely say anything.  Plus, I'm the type of mom who doesn't notice my kiddos' hair until the bus is pulling up (sigh) -- in fact, I sometimes forget to comb my own hair (ack).

But I do think I'll be that way more with my daughter (who's currently 8 ), as she takes more after me and also doesn't comb her hair very often.

JennaWren:
Yes, yes and yes!

My oldest is 10, and is terrible about brushing her hair or doing a good job with her teeth. I totally bug her all the time. In fact, I'm bugging her right now to get cleaned up and dressed so we can go to the library!

I bug all four all the time about this stuff. Now, whether they listen to me or lie about it is another story....  :)

Jaina:
Thanks, you two.  So what you're saying is that this "Brush your hair.  Do you think maybe you should change your shirt?" stuff is pretty normal parenting stuff for the kind of parents who care about that kind of thing, so it wouldn't stand out in a story as "Wow, these parents are way strict" or anything.

Robin, it's funny--I'm just as likely to forget my own hair, but my poor daughter gets the job of somehow representing me to the world, so I bug her about these things.  At least I don't say the line my mom used to say to me about uncombed hair or mismatched clothes--"You look like an orphan!"  How rude to orphans!

christine:
I think you can do anything and get away with it. I don't and didn't check any of the things you list, but I certainly know a lot of parents who do - some of them do it well beyond age 12!

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